Heartache

2 weeks of heartache...

A friend's 13-month-old daughter passed away in her sleep last week. I have no words, just tears...

My teenage foster daughter longs for her family during Christmas, but is not allowed to see them. My heart hurts because she is hurting so much...

Oh Lord, there are so many tears on this earth. Please come soon.

Dates with my boys

Date #1

Jadon to Disneyland

I took Jadon to Disneyland at the end of the day on his 4th birthday. It's the only time I could go alone! :) We rushed over there, took the Monorail into Disneyland, rode on the Nemo submarine, then the park closed. Although it was such a short time, Jadon still loved it!

At the end of Nemo, he looked at me and smiled, "Mama, that was fun." Of course he wanted to go again, but alas the park was closed. We headed down Main Street and walked into a store, where Jadon saw a wallet he wanted. I wanted to use my Disney Reward Dollars, but unfortunately I had to request it online first. I explained to Jadon what had to happen, that we had to wait for a card to come in the mail before purchasing the wallet. He agreed to wait without a pout! Praise God for his great attitude!

We walked out to Downtown Disney where he had his first funnel cake. Then we headed over to the Lego store to play there a little. Having a date with my little guy was so fun! It's rare that I get alone time with him and it was such a blessing to have just him! He was definitely on his best behavior without any warnings or threats.

Date #2

Josiah to Disneyland

I wanted to take Josiah alone before my pass expired on my birthday so we went on Tuesday night. He was pretty good about not saying anything to Jadon all day, but he had to tell the Seo kids during their piano lesson. :)

We left after dinner and Jadon was pretty understanding that it was Josiah's turn. I left promising him a wallet when I got back home. He had a good time with Baba anyway, watching Harry Potter at home!

Josiah said his favorite ride is Toy Story Mania so we headed to California Adventure after getting Jadon's wallet. (My Reward Dollars had since arrived in the mail.) While in Disneyland, we experienced snow on Main Street! How cool is that!

He wanted to go on two more rides, but it was almost closing so I explained that we might only have time for one ride. He chose his favorite one. This coming weekend Disneyland starts closing after 8pm.

We had a great time in line playing Rock, Scissors, Paper and chatting. Josiah has developed quite a fearful fascination with coyotes. He remembered that there were a couple of coyotes one night in our backyard last year. About 2 months ago, he's been asking very specific questions and making comments:

When do coyotes come to our house?

What do they eat?

Why do they eat children?

I hate coyotes.

Do coyotes come out at night? (as he's watching the garage door close before he heads into the house)

After Toy Story Mania, California Adventure was closed but we stayed until 8:25 watching Disney's World of Color from the back side. World of Color is pretty cool, like Bellagio on steroids. Josiah was ready for Downtown Disney after about 10 minutes. As we left the park Josiah said, "Thank you for letting me stay up late!

We hung out at the World of Disney store picking out gifts for Jackie, Jadon, and Jer. Josiah had to decide how to allocate the $20 we had left on the Disney Rewards card.

We also swung by the Lego store to look at the cool creations. We left just before 10pm. Josiah realized that he was suddenly very tired. We waited for the tram to take us back to the parking lot. As we walked to the car, he said, "I wish someone could pick us up and drive us home because we're so tired. My stomach hurts and my feet hurt."

M: "Why do you want someone else to take us home? I'm driving."

J: "I don't want you to do so much work."

So sweet! I love our little discussions and Josiah's growing knowledge of the Lord.

Date #3

Jer to Octopus

My birthday dinner! We left the house after putting the boys down. Josiah had a MAJOR meltdown! He has never cried about us leaving the house before. He was sobbing uncontrollably, almost throwing up! He said he didn't want me to go out on my birthday, that he wanted me to eat at home. After about 15 minutes of this crazy meltdown, he was armed with his stuffed tiger (who would scare the coyotes) and my cell phone. :) Jer had his bluetooth in for about 30 minutes before we decided that Josiah had fallen asleep.

First we picked up a new beach cruiser for Jackie from a friend a couple of streets away. My mom wanted to get Jackie a bike for Christmas. Time Warner's internet service was out so we also had to get our coupon printed for dinner from Tina's house. She came by to pick up her daughter from piano and I was telling her about waiting for our internet service to come back on. She volunteered to let us use her printer. Thanks!!!!

Yummy dinner at Octopus Restaurant! I had panko salmon and shared a Black Dragon (avocado & eel) roll. Jer had Beef Yakiniku. We are so tired when we go out on dates that we just eat, talk, and go home once the food is gone. There was one young couple, obviously on their 1st or 2nd date, who was there before and after we arrived. Too sweet!

I love my boys! Judah gets me all the time so we don't have date nights yet. Jackie and I get to bond when we go shopping every once in a while.

Praise God for a plethora of blessings in my family! I never thought that after 33 years, I'd be in SoCal with a wonderful husband and four kids!

Valentine Card 2010

Simple Heart Valentine's Day 5x7 folded card

Unique party invitations and greeting cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

We have a 4-year-old now!

Happy birthday to my dear 2nd boy Jadon! He challenges me to no end, but has the greatest smile to make up for it! Hehe.

Check out his class photo. Makes us scold him and laugh at the same time! What a memory...

Something is making me tired...

We spent most of the day at California Adventure yesterday having fun before Jadon's pass expires tomorrow on his birthday. We were driving home after 4pm and I was trying to talk to Jadon to keep him awake so he could attend his sports class. I could tell he was drifting in and out.

Me: Jadon, tell me about your favorite part of today.
J: The train and monorail. (eyes start to shut)
M: Jadon, try to stay awake so you can go play ball.
J: (eyes open quickly) I'm trying, but something is making me tired.
M: (chuckling) Something is making you tired? What is it?
J: I don't know.

Well he didn't make it home awake so he didn't get to go to his class. :(

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Jer and I went to Olive Crest's annual adoption dinner tonight. It was at the Spaghetti Factory, a first for Olive Crest! Usually it's at their office building. It was so nice to eat and chat with other foster and adoptive families about their experiences. One couple sitting with us has 6 children - 4 biological and 2 adopted. The other couple has one child and just got certified to be foster adoptive parents yesterday! We're right in between them, certified 2 and a half years ago and 4 kids later. It's only by God's grace that we are where we are, blessed with all the children we have.

Over 500,000 children in America are in foster care. Over 100,000 of them are available for adoption. Please think about opening up your hearts and homes to a child in need of a family. There are so many right here in our own backyard. We don't all have to adopt internationally. God has brought us through much heartache from being foster parents, but we know this is where He wants us to be and this is what He wants us to do.

There are never enough foster families to take in foster children.

It finally happened to me...

I thought this only happened in the movies. Yes, it is what you think it is!

Jer was giving a hug to Josiah this morning in bed.

Jer: I love my 5-year-old.

Josiah: (they got up to walk to the boys' room) I love my 31-year-old.

He actually remembered his Baba's age!

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One day this week I walked out of my garage and looked for the boys, who were playing outside in front of the house. I looked to my left and was horrified! Josiah was pulling up his pants and proceeded to button them. He had just peed on my neighbor's front yard! WHY???????? We live right next door!

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Josiah: Why does ice melt?

Me: Because if it's not cold enough, it melts.

Josiah: Why don't we melt?

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We have fun with our little boys and on the other end of the spectrum, our teenage daughter just got asked out for the first time to her homecoming dance. She is so excited and so are we! And we're learning just how EXPENSIVE formal dresses are, in addition to everything else that goes along with attending a nice dance... :)

The Spirit Moves

Tears welled up in my eyes this morning when my Community Bible Study core group leader told me she prayed for me and my daughter. Sounds simple, right? There's more. She specifically prayed for us on Friday night exactly 2 weeks ago. The Lord brought us to her mind that night and she fervently prayed. She didn't know why, so she asked me this morning how things were going.

I had missed CBS last week due to Judah's runny nose. During the last two weeks, a whirlwind tore through our daughter's heart and brought her back to us slowly. I shared with Christianne briefly that the night she prayed was the first night of our daughter's bout of depression that went on for days, affecting the whole family. We've definitely needed prayers! God truly carries us through the tough times, providing the love, prayers, and fellowship of other believers...even when we don't even know it! Wow, I have NEVER experienced the Holy Spirit moving so specifically in my life before!

We discussed John paving the way for Christ's ministry and touched on the Fruits of the Spirit being a manifestation of true faith. Yet it's not what I do, it's what Christ does in me. If He were not in me, why would I bother with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? What would be the point? How could I even come close to succeeding if it were not for Him? May others see Christ, not me.

One lady from my core group mentioned using the Fruit of the Spirit in disciplining her children. What a great idea! I had learned about "catch them being good" when I pursued my teaching credential, but how wonderful to connect it with God's word. Every time one of her children show that they are being loving, kind, etc., they get a little craft puff ball added to a jar. When the jar is full, they get a special outing with Dad. How cool is that?

It is SO much easier to administer discipline for the negative things. I don't want the kids to come to expect a reward for every good thing they do, but it is nice to get a treat every once in a while. This way, they also learn what the Fruit of the Spirit entails!

Here is little Jadon taking a piano lesson from me last night just before bedtime. I was trying to help him follow along with the music by pointing to his spot on the page, but he said, "I do it myself, Mama." He requested that I get the camera to take a picture and video. :)

Judah stands!

My 9-month-old stands for about 10-15 seconds! :) He also learned how to hug by putting his head on the shoulder of the person holding him.

This is what I found yesterday morning after I came back to the dining room from getting changed in my room. That Jadon is always messing around! And Judah suffers...or profits from Jadon's lack of discretion.

into September...

I gotta say I love the routine of school finally starting this week! We started 10th grade, Kindergarten, and Preschool. God has given me the wonderful opportunity of homeschooling Josiah this year. Don't know if we'll continue, but we'll take it one year at a time.

As we were doing some school work yesterday, we had a little conversation:

Me: Do you like that I'm your teacher?
Josiah: Yeah, I wish you could always be my teacher.
Me: Do you like me being your teacher better or going to preschool?
Josiah: I like it here because I can have a lollipop. (while doing his work)

It has definitely been a challenge trying to get organized. I still haven't succeeded, but thankfully the Lord gives grace! I just hope Josiah learns all he's supposed to learn this year. :)

Jadon loves Mrs. Perrin, his new preschool teacher. Yesterday he told me he played with a new friend named Sophia.

Our daughter "Jerry" has been making tons of friends at her new school. Praise God! We're so happy she's enjoying her "white" school. Hehe. Last year she went to a predominantly Asian high school so she wasn't sure what to expect.

Little Judah had to go without my milk for the past few days. Poor guy is all out of sorts with gross diapers, etc. Since I had to get a radio isotope injected in me on Wednesday for a few diagnostic scans, he couldn't drink my milk. Hopefully he will get better soon. No more pumping beginning tomorrow! Yay!

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One night this week after Josiah showered, I threw his robe on him and he told me to dry his head first.

Josiah: "Baba said always to dry my head first, not my legs."
Me: (laughing) Baba has all sorts of rules, huh?
Josiah: Yeah, sometimes he's wrong; sometimes he's right.

I got such a kick out of that! Jer cracked up when I told him later on.

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Me: What's our state flower?
Jerry: Cauliflower, right?
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Jer has been working so hard these days. September and October are really busy for him at work. It works out perfectly that he drops Jerry off at school, then heads off to work early for some uninterrupted time to get things done! I love my husband.

Tomorrow is our 11-year anniversary of the day we started dating. Yes, 9/11. Not a wonderful day to remember since 2001, but still our anniversary. My how the Lord has grown us through marriage and life! Who knew we would argue a lot? Who knew we would have sadness? Who knew God would put in us a desire to foster children? Who knew we would have a family of 6 in our house right now? Who knew God would strengthen our love for each other more than we had ever known before? Who knew our youngest son would have Baba's exact dimples? GOD knew!

I love you, Jer Bear! Thank you for loving me and putting up with me all these years. :)

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Been working on our Japan photo book the past few days. It's fun to relive the memories of our March trip with Judah. Felt like another honeymoon since we were able to pick up and go as we pleased!
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Excited about CBS starting next week! I absolutely love this local Bible Study and how God uses it to keep me accountable to reading His Word. Forgot what we will be studying this year... The boys love it, too, since the children's program is like a preschool Sunday School. They are split up by age and the lessons are written accordingly. Their teachers pray for them each week and truly love their little souls.


...no photos this time. just many thoughts...

What a waste

"What a waste," Josiah commented as he walked into the bathroom and probably noticed that Jadon left a bunch of toilet paper in the toilet.

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"Why does Baba not want you to go to sleep?" Josiah asked when I told him I didn't have a good night's sleep. I told him that it was probably too much caffeine in the drink that I drank. Jer had bought me and J a boba drink the night before.

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Wow, it's been quite busy! 3 little boys and a teenage girl doesn't leave room for much free time. We're enjoying everyone, though!

another tangent...

As I was helping Jadon (age 3) finish lunch today, he said:

Jadon: I want to wash the dishes!

Me: Ok, one day you can wash all the dishes and I won't have to anymore. Would you like that?

Jadon: Yeah!

Me: *chuckle*

Josiah chimes in: And then you won't have anyone to take care of anymore...except Judah. THEN you can have another baby!

Me: *laughing* You'd like that, huh?

Josiah: Yeah, I want a girl.

Me: Well you'll have to ask God because I'm not in charge.

Look-alikes

I bet you all wish they would dress like this everyday so you can tell them apart! :)

It did it by itself!

One morning while we were still asleep, Jadon walked in and stood next to my side of the bed.

J: My pants are wet.
M: Oh no, did you pee in your pants?
J: No.
M: Did you pee in your bed?
J: No, it did it by itself.

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Date nights were a distant memory for Jer and me until last week. Jer collaborated with Todd, asking him to babysit every couple of weeks or so. I started seeing random dinner dates posted up on my google calendar that Jer and I share. Hmmm...we've never talked about going out, I thought.

Last week was our first date night and will be followed by more every couple of weeks or so. What a sweet husband I have! Thanks so much, Jer! It gives us time to re-connect without the distraction of tending to our little ones' needs.

The night began with Jeremy being awarded a photography prize at the Placentia City Council meeting. We never even knew this room existed!



The council was gracious and presented the awards at the beginning of the meeting so we were able to leave without having to sit in on the rest of the political matters. :) Our friend Thea urged Jer to enter by bringing the entry forms to our house. Thanks, Thea! Here are the first-place winners in each category and division:



After the award presentation, we went to Wood Ranch for dinner. I had a yummy prime rib, although nothing beats the prime rib at The Shadows! Jer had ribs and something else that was also enjoyable. I love my husband!

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My first little baby boy is done with preschool. His last day was Thursday and all the families were invited for a hot dog lunch. Josiah had so much fun this past year with Mrs. Killian and his new friends. Now homeschooling Kindergarten awaits me. We'll see how it goes. I trust God will give me whatever it takes to teach this little boy and guide him in the ways of the Lord. I will be on my knees!

And the winner is...

...my wonderful husband Jeremy! He won 1st place for the People & Animals division in the City of Placentia Photography Contest! Here is the winning photo:

the lotto

One day last week Josiah asked a random question:

J: Mama, what's the Lotto?

M: The Lotto? Where did you learn that word from?

J: I told Baba that I wished he could stay home today and he said when he wins the Lotto, he would be able to stay home everyday.

M: (chuckling out loud) Oh! If you win the Lotto, you win a lot of money so some people might not have to work anymore.

J: Oh.

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A few months ago Jadon wanted to take a toy from the car into Ms. Heidi's class. It's a mommy and me preschool-type class we attend together.

M: Jadon, we're going to leave that toy in the car, ok?

J: Why?

M: Because Ms. Heidi has lots of toys in her class so we don't need anymore.

J: (quickly putting his toy back into the car) That makes sense, Mama.

M: (smiling) That makes sense?

J: Yeah, that makes sense.

M: Ok, let's go!

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One day Josiah was singing a song with lyrics from a Bible verse.

J: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart..."

M: Do you know what trust means?

J: No.

M: It's when you believe something or someone. When you know that it is true. Like you trust that Mama will pick you up from school when it's time to go home. You know that I'll be there.

J: Like when Sally says, "I trust Lightning McQueen?"

M: What?

J: When Doc is talking with Sally. He said, "Who do you trust?" And she says, "I trust Lightning McQueen."

M: Yeah, like that!

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And Judah can't talk yet, but here he is trying to eat cereal for the first time. It was quite funny watching him try to lick it all in, but not figuring out how to get it into the back of his mouth to swallow!

May is National Foster Care Month

Foster care is near and dear to my heart. God brought some very sweet little ones through our home and we found joys and challenges through them. Please pray for all the children in foster care and consider opening your heart to them!

back in time

Trying a milk-delivery service once a week. This makes me feel as if we were living in the 50s or 60s, minus the glass bottles. It's pretty serene opening the door in the early morning and seeing the soft sunlight on our milk for the week!

addicting...

But Jesus MADE them!

So in the process of brainwashing our kids to root for UCLA (and not USC), Jer came home this afternoon and noticed that Jadon had a yellow t-shirt on under a red long-sleeve Lightning McQueen shirt.

Jer: NO red and yellow together!
Jadon: (immediately pointing to me) but...but...but...
Jer: NO red and yellow together! You can wear only yellow or only red, but not together, ok?
Jadon: But Jesus MADE them!

first Korean word

Josiah: Mama, what does "pongu" mean?
Me: Where did you hear that from?
Josiah: Some kids were saying it at church.

Ok, church friends! Who's kid is teaching my son funky Korean vocabulary?? Hehe.

Here's a shot of some of us from my MOMS Club at today's Kids' Fair. Thanks, Barbara, for making the event happen!

You have TWO feet!

During dinner tonight, Josiah asked me how tall I am. "How much do you measure?"

Me: "5 feet, 2 inches."

Jadon, sitting across from me, then bent down to peer under the table. "You have TWO feet!" he said after counting my feet.

More photos for your viewing pleasure:

Josiah and Jadon in front of Snow White's ride at Disneyland last week.


Judah has Jer's dimples!

more funnies from my little boys...

more quotes...

I was sitting on the floor with Judah on my lap a couple of days ago.  Josiah and Jadon came running and sat in front of us, smiling and talking with baby Judah. 

Me: "These are your goa-goa's(this means "older brother" in Cantonese).  Say hiii..."
Josiah & Jadon:  "Hii...hi Judah..." (in the sing-song baby voice)
Josiah: "Yeah, we're bad goa-goas."
Me: "Why?"
Josiah: "Because we do bad things like fight all the time."
(LOL!)

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This morning I thought that the share day item was "something with teeth."  Later, it turns out that I was looking at next week's share item!  Anyway, before dropping him off at preschool, I asked Josiah to look around for something with teeth. 

Josiah: "I don't know what has teeth."
Me: "Um, what about a comb?"
Josiah: "What's a comb?"

HAHAHAHA!!!  Ok, so one of the joys of having boys is being able to shave their hair and NEVER having to worry about combing!  Josiah is almost 5 years old. 

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Tonight at dinner...

Jadon: "I finished my milk all."
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Ok, this isn't the best pic of Judah because he was getting fussy, but he tried on a potential wedding outfit and I wanted to get a pic.  I bought 2 sets and intend to return one.  One comes with a red vest and the other with a gray vest.  The outfits are identical and I can't decide.  Hmmm...no shoes, either. 

new to me

I'm an avid Xanga blogger, although posts have waned since 3 kids have taken over my life! Just checking this out to see how I like it.

Recent quotes from the boys...

Josiah: "Pants!" (when asked what word could he think of that starts with the letter F)
Me: huh?
Josiah: "Fu!" (this is Cantonese for 'pants')


Jadon: "You're my BEST friend." (to Josiah)

...and here they are signing Valentine cards for their friends.