Our county social worker swung by this morning for her brief, monthly visit. She has to hold her, play with her, check for any developmental milestones/delays, and see if the baby has a diaper rash. She also tells me about any court updates regarding our baby's case.
Well it seems like Baby A's stay is nearing the end...with maybe a month left. So now I hold her a little tighter, a little longer, blinking back tears that threaten to overflow. The social worker, in a motherese sing-song voice, cooed to Baby A:
"You're going to miss Michelle, huh? She loves you."
Inside my head, I was protesting: No, I am not Michelle...I'm Mama!
We've never met her birth mom and she has never known another 24/7 caregiver. She's been my daughter for almost 6 months now. I'm the one who calms her, feeds her, deals with her tantrums, plays with her, LOVES HER! (Yes, raw unfettered, selfish emotions here.) How can you refer to me as just Michelle? I'm her Mama.
And this is just what the Lord has called us to do. To care for orphans in their distress. To love them as our own. For we were once orphans until God called us His own through Christ Jesus.
But in this broken world, there is foster care, temporary placements of children waiting to be reunified with their birth families. My heart breaks for them so we love them as our own. And at the end of their stay, our hearts break even more.
We know this going in. We know they will leave one day...but it never gets easier. Parents and children are meant to attach. God made us that way. And it hurts immensely when they leave. He then bandages our hearts and eventually sends us another sweet baby.
"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:5-8
DISCLAIMER: Birth moms do love their children who get taken away into foster care. Sometimes the most loving thing for them to do is to let someone else take care of their children.
I'm crying. Like, a lot. But I am so thankful for you and Jer and for how you care for orphans in their distress. It's such a beautiful testimony of Christ's love working through you and of how powerful that is.
ReplyDeleteI love you, sister!!! I thank God for you!!!! May He sustain you as you fight to remain faithful to Him as your time as Baby A's mama draws to a close!
I am so touched by your compassion in weeping with us. We are so thankful for you, Jeena. Love you too!
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