Scattered thoughts

Wow, it's been a while.  Our sweet neighbor Ruben is over here hanging out with the boys so I'm typing away.

Summer!  The boys love summer because our schedules are so relaxed.  Josiah loves to ask me why he still has to do homework when it's summer.  :)  You see, I desire to be more tiger mom-like, but I lack the discipline to follow through.  Not that I want to be up at midnight making the boys practice their instruments until they get it right, but to be a little less relaxed than I am.

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I cuddled my 2.5-year-old Judah yesterday in my arms and called him my little baby boy.
J: No, I Judah.
M: You're my baby boy!
J: No, I Judah.
M: You're not my little baby?
J: No, I Judah!
M: You're my little boy.
J: No, I Judah!
M: You're my little boy!
J: No, I BIG boy!

Last night Jer and I heard this comment from Judah for the VERY first time: "I so tired."  :)  Usually he tells us he isn't tired and tries to fight bedtime.

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I've been reading a book called Raising Kids with Character that Lasts, by John and Susan Yates.  I love how the authors encourage us by reiterating that we are all in process.  We are continually being shaped by the Lord into men and women of character.  Do what is right vs. do what we feel.  Training our children by sharing our weaknesses and how we stumble allows them to see that it is ok to fail.  God picks us up and has us move on in His strength.

It's ok for the kids to be bored because they will have to be creative to entertain themselves.  With boys, sometimes the creativity leads to destructiveness.  Hehe.

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Fostering our teen is constant emotional turmoil for the foster child and the foster parents.  We have our ups and downs, but because the natural family has been broken up for her, that hurt is so deep.  Only the Lord can heal those broken hearts.  Therapy and drugs can only do so much to help, but ultimately it is God we all need.

Before lunch, J and I had a calm but slightly emotionally-charged conversation.  It doesn't hurt that she doesn't want to be adopted.  It hurts because she can't hang out with us without feeling pain...so she doesn't.  I feel sad when she excitedly wants to go out with others, knowing that it brings so much sadness to her when she spends time with us as a family.  We were both in tears, as this situation isn't ideal since there has been so much loss to get here, but it is the best situation it can be at this point.